


Bottom of the Bottle

by harukas_knight



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, Intolerance, LGBTQ Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:44:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8950819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harukas_knight/pseuds/harukas_knight
Summary: Slight Alternate Universe. Haruka struggles, in the absence of major threats, with issues of their current life. When a rift develops between Haruka and Michiru, Setsuna and Hotaru are left to worry after both of their fellow senshi. How will Haruka and Michiru resolve the issues in their lives? Will it pull them further apart?  No nudity or sex, however alcohol and drug abuse themes are present.





	1. Bottom of the Bottle

Warning: Slightly Alternate Universe

Bottom of the Bottle

By: Haruka's Knight

It was funny in some ways, really it was. The tall blonde sat astride her motorcycle, parked not far from the edge of a cliff, and watched calmly through her sunglasses as the sky was painted vivid colors by the dying sun. Years ago she'd thought she would never again find herself here, not so much this physical place, but more at this point in her life. She had feared her destiny for so long, she had tried to run, but once she had embraced it she'd almost wanted to thank someone for giving her a partner like Michiru. It took time, and work on both parts, but they had come to a point where the blonde had truly believed they no longer had any secrets from each other.

And now Haruka had ruined that. Oh it wasn't apparent at first, it wasn't noticeable at first. A small breach and it was revealed that the tall blonde had feelings for her shorter friend. At the time it had been nothing, both too busy for anything regardless. Once things settled Michiru had been kind about explaining that she didn't return her friend's feelings. Things had still been great after that, even with the mild torture of sharing an apartment with your unrequited love. Now though, that had all gone down the drain.

One month earlier:

Haruka walked through the door with a cocky grin on her face, slipping her shoes off as she entered. She quirked an eyebrow at the extra pair of shoes which sat by the door but shrugged. Before she could take a step further Setsuna popped out of the kitchen door and blocked the blonde's path, almost as if the time guardian had been waiting for her.

"Haruka, just the women I was waiting for." Setsuna took a hold of the Wind Senshi's arm and pulled her back toward the door, speaking as quietly as possible. "I was hoping you could drive me to the store, we need some stuff for dinner tonight."

"Okay, I guess that's fine." Haruka started before they heard Michiru's voice from the other room. The Wind Senshi raised an eyebrow and glanced at Setsuna. "I thought Michiru left for a concert this morning."

"Um, she postponed it." Setsuna gave a sigh as the other senshi walked off toward the living room and poked her head around the door frame. It wasn't long before Haruka returned to the door and pulled her shoes back on, a concerned Michiru not far behind.

"Haruka what's wrong with you? You didn't even say hi?" Michiru asked but received only a glare from her taller partner as a young man emerged from the living room as well. He grinned and waved at the taller racer with a smug look. Michiru spoke as sternly as if she'd caught Hotaru trying to sneak out. "Haruka, speak."

"Setsuna, did you actually need anything from the store?" The blonde ignored both the man and her partner. The time guardian shook her head and watched sadly as Haruka walked back out with no further comment.

Haruka doubted Setsuna was surprised when the two other women were woken by a phone call later that night. The blonde noticed that only Setsuna picked her up from the police station, and that the other woman sent her worried looks. As they entered Michiru shook her head at the tall blonde, asking her if she felt good about picking on the poor man. The blonde finally snapped, in reality for the second time that night, and yelled at the violin player before retreating to her own room.

Present time:

Haruka sighed as she started her gold bike's engine and wheeled it around to face back toward the street. Though in outward appearance the two had forgiven each other nothing was the same. Michiru and Haruka hardly spoke to one another and Haruka all but didn't speak to any of the younger scouts. The blonde began to have nightmares, constantly involving two things she'd come to dread seeing: Michiru and alcohol. As this thought came back to her she quickly peeled down the narrow road and toward the city streets of Tokyo.

Haruka had always had this fear during her current life. She'd been lucky enough that her father had given up alcohol before her birth, but had still been told the stories. Had come to learn that all of his family had had a problem with controlling themselves when it came to such substances. In fact Michiru was one of very few that knew Haruka's brother had died, or more correctly knew he'd existed. He'd gone from drinking to drugs and over dosed sometime while the two were searching for the talismans. Haruka had always escaped her fears by taking to the track or to the streets, racing the wind. The few times she simply could not shake fears she spoken to Michiru.

Now she no longer felt she could speak to the violin player, and in fact felt Michiru was part of the problem. No amount of fresh air or breaking traffic laws was helping the blonde this time. The nightmares only increased and so did that insistent voice in the back of her mind. That voice that said one drink wouldn't hurt, that nothing bad could happen. Haruka opened up the throttle on her bike, ignoring the flashing lights that appeared in her side mirror. The police cruiser had no chance of catching her.

At the home of the four outer scouts:

Setsuna silently sat in a chair, her eyes skimming over the text of a very old book as Hotaru watched an anime on the large TV. The two sat in complete silence until Michiru strode into the living room. Two pairs of eyes looked up to the clearly perturbed senshi of the sea as she set her violin carefully on the table before glaring at a picture on the wall. Setsuna followed her line of sight and winced as she spotted a picture of Haruka there.

"Hotaru-chan." Michiru spoke with false calm and the young teen shut off the TV and stood from the couch. Her violet eyes shot a quick look toward Setsuna and the two exchanged a worried glance. Michiru continued. "Don't you have something you should be studying?"

"I could go read over my English assignment, Michiru-mama." Hotaru said quietly as she edged toward the door. Michiru was nodding, seeming to no longer see the girl as her eyes landed on the oldest housemate. Setsuna nodded and Hotaru all but dashed up the staircase and away from two of her three guardians.

"Where is she?" Michiru questioned, her eyes on Setsuna even as the woman stared down into her book.

"If you mean Haruka, I truly have no idea." Setsuna said in a steady voice as she placed a book mark on her page and set the book aside. She looked up and met the smoldering eyes of the sea senshi. "I hate to point this out, Michiru-chan, but Haruka is your partner not mine."

"I know something is wrong with her Suna." Michiru finally said as she sat heavily on the couch. She noticed the look Setsuna was giving her and waved one elegant hand toward the picture she'd earlier glared at. "I have known something wasn't right for a while. I don't understand why she's mad, I should be the one who was insulted."

"Do you really believe that?" Setsuna said simply. Michiru looked back toward her with surprise written in those deep blue eyes. Setsuna stood and began to pace slowly back and forth. "Do you really think all this is jealousy over some ex-boyfriend who isn't worth anyone's time of day?"

"Setsuna." Michiru began in a warning tone but was cut off as the older senshi stopped pacing and glared at her. Michiru fell silent and waited for the clearly irked woman to speak.

"You may think that because you didn't raise your voice that your actions were adult and hurt no one." Setsuna began in a dangerous tone. "But you are horrible mistaken Michiru. Yes Haruka's actions were less than mature but at least she can claim hers stemmed from concern for you and not foolish, childish pride. Haruka's actions that night were not to make herself feel better, those two had been friend's before you dated him, she did what she did because she was concerned for your feelings."

"I can take care of myself, I am an adult after all." Michiru defended as she stood and faced the taller woman. She glared a bit as she spoke again. "Just because she thinks she's in love with me doesn't mean I should coddle her feelings."

"Is that what you believe you have been doing?" Setsuna sat back down and shook her head with grim amusement. She looked back toward the still fuming women before her with an amazed look on her face. "She told you everything, opened up fully to you when she would not for anyone else and you still can't understand her. You still feel the need to hide your feelings from her. Haruka may be depressed far more often then she lets on but at least she tried."

"What are you talking about?" Michiru asked, exasperated with the whole topic. "It's not like she's having any serious problems right now, she is just being herself and expecting me to come ask her what's wrong like I always have."

"If that's true why can't you find her?" Setsuna's simple statement struck Michiru in a manner the artist hadn't experienced. Red eyes regarded the younger woman before her. "She is pulling away and when I tried to point it out you said she was just dwelling. Michiru, she hasn't even been home some nights while you were gone."

"Where did she go?"

"That's what Hotaru and I would like to know, but she wont talk." Setsuna picked up her book again but didn't open it. "When she does talk it isn't real, it's like she doesn't trust anyone now. She avoids the inner scouts, smiling when she runs into them and pretending that she is happy to see them before making up some story about having to do something or another and running off. They can buy it but those of us who live with her can tell."

"If something is wrong she must have talked to one of you." Michiru began to brush it off and stood. Before she could leave the living room however Setsuna spoke again.

"Actually, you're the only one she ever told her problems to."

Somewhere across Tokyo:

Haruka stepped through the door of the biker bar and strolled over to the bar. She took a seat on one of the stools as she removed her glasses and set them on the wooden counter top. The bartender looked up at her with recognition and she nodded to the man. A dark glass bottle was set in front of her with its black label facing her.

"Seems like a waste." Someone commented next to her. She spared a glance at the man on the next stool as he eyed her drink. "Jack Daniel's colas aren't just some beer. Every time to you come in here you order one, and you stare at for hours sometimes and then you leave. It's a waste."

"Have it." Was the only response she gave as she stood and placed some yen on the counter top before grabbing her glasses. The confused man was still staring at the drink as she walked out the door and back into the cool night air.

Mounting her gold motorcycle again Haruka took off toward home. She pulled up outside the house after a short ride and climbed off. As she opened the door she could hear violin music coming from the living room, though the tune stopped as she shut the front door.

"Haruka, please come here." Michiru called, her tone polite. Haruka shrugged out of her jacket and walked into the living room still wearing her dark shades. She waited for the shorter woman to speak first. Michiru sounded a bit uncertain when she finally spoke. "Where did you go?"

"Out." Haruka responded with no malice or really any feeling in her voice.

"Oh." Michiru paused and searched for a topic to open up a conversation with her friend. She nodded toward some sheet music sitting on the table. "I was wondering if you would go over my new composition with me."

"Maybe some other time, I'm a bit tired." Haruka replied with out even considering the request. Noticing the somewhat dejected look in those blue eyes she removed her glasses and decided to test the waters just a bit. With her glasses off dark circles were visible below her eyes and Michiru sucked in a breath at the sight. Teal eyes were blood shot and the taller woman had obviously been losing sleep over something. "Was there anything else?"

"No, that's it. I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah." Haruka agreed, feeling as if they were on different continents as she strode from the room. It was clear that Michiru could no longer see when things were wrong with her tall partner, and Haruka didn't feel inclined to inform her anymore. She reached her room and locked the door before falling into bed fully clothed.

Down stairs, in the living room, Michiru wanted to run after the tall blonde and say yes there was more. She wanted to insist they needed to talk about what was going on. Michiru was desperately holding to her resolve that Setsuna was wrong and Haruka was just dwelling. She shook her head, knowing she was wrong but refusing to admit it to even herself. She lifted the violin again to her shoulder and a slow, hauntingly sad tune floated through the house. Elsewhere in the house red eyes rolled in exasperation at the actions of two senshi, and two violet eyes clouded again with concern.


	2. Ghost of it All

Ghost of it all:

DREAM:

Another race won, there just didn't seem to be any challenge in it anymore. . . How could anyone honestly expect to beat the princess of the wind anyway? Haruka strode into the sort of lounge area she shared with her pit crew and waved to the men who sat about the table. One man, Jeremy, the supply guy waved Haruka over and she walked toward the table.

"Hey there champ, what ya doing?" He said in a way that sounded much like a schoolyard friend or bully. The blonde only raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled. "Ah come on, have a drink with us. How about it?"

Haruka began to decline but he held out a bottle of Smirnoff Twisted to her and she felt the familiar surge of curiosity fill her. Slowly, haltingly Haruka reached for the bottle. Finally she held it in her hand and Jeremy and the others nodded to her, friendly grins on all their faces. Haruka twisted off the cap and stared at the clear contents for a time, noting the cool mist that filled the bottle neck. She smelled a strong scent of candy with hints of Vodka hiding under the sweet fruity smell. With out taking much longer to think about her actions she slowly brought the bottle to her lips and took her first sip.

Jeremy's grin seemed to waver as the blonde took a second and much longer swig from the bottle. Teal eyes began to unfocused as Haruka sat down at the table to join the little drinking party.

END DREAM:

Haruka's teal eyes snapped open as someone knocked on her door for probably the third time. The blonde was covered in sweat and felt as if her shirt was clinging to her skin. She grumbled and threw her leather jacket into a corner as she walked over and unlocked the bedroom door. She opened it to be met with the hopeful eyes of her adopted daughter.

"I was hoping you'd give me a ride to the mall, Haruka-papa." Hotaru turned thirteen year old violet eyes toward her tall guardian in a manner that clearly showed she was not above begging. "And maybe spend some time with me there."

"Alright, anything you ask, Hime-chan." Haruka caught Setsuna smiling down the hall as she glanced over the excited teen's head. With a false smirk she ruffled Hotaru's hair and turned back toward her room. "Let me grab a shower."

Half an hour later the gold motorcycle prowled into a spot next to a red car. Haruka was glad her eyes were hidden behind her glasses again as she rolled them. The inner scouts smiled and called out greetings to the two as Hotaru climbed off the back of the bike and took off her metallic purple helmet. Haruka got off and quickly hung her daughter's helmet from the handlebars of the bike. The blonde straightened her button down blue shirt over her black slacks and pushed her glasses up a bit more.

"Haruka-san! You came!" Usagi called out happily as she ran over to hug the taller blonde. She smiled happily and looked up toward those hidden teal eyes. "I'm glad you weren't busy, we haven't seen you for more than a minute in a long time."

"Things at the track have been a bit hectic." Haruka spoke with another forced smile as she patted the shorter blonde's head and nodded to the others. She noticed Mamoru giving her an appraising look, but the future king merely nodded. She took this, as his way of saying he'd stay out of it. "Sorry if I neglected my favorite fans."

"That's okay, so long as you get us free tickets to your next race." Minako called happily as she walked over. Haruka soon found herself being pulled toward the door of the mall by the two hyper blondes. She glanced back as Mamoru got back in his car.

"He's not sticking around?" Haruka asked, glancing down at Usagi who was hugging her left arm as they walked. The moon princess shook her head with a happy smile.

"Nope, girls day out today." Minako supplied from her other arm. Haruka resisted the urge to ask why she was there rather than Michiru or Setsuna by that logic.

Two hours passed in the same manner. For two hours the six teens and one woman in her early twenties wandered the mall stopping at clothing stores and food places. The inner scouts seemed to not take much notice of the difference in Haruka but Hotaru did. She knew shopping wasn't the tall blonde's pass time, but the lack of any real interest almost scared the youngest senshi. She only saw anything near interest when they passed a display that showed aged cigars and alcohol, and that interest seemed tainted by something else as well.

"Okay, how about a movie?" Makoto suggested, she winked at Hotaru and fell back to whisper to the girl. "What are you worried about?"

"Haruka-papa hasn't been herself recently, she's just acting right now." Hotaru whispered back as the others, minus Haruka who was merely watching behind her shades, and Ami who listened silently, argued about what movie to see. Makoto glanced over toward the tallest blonde quickly before looking back at Hotaru.

"Now that you mention it, it is kind of odd that we're inside and she still hasn't taken off the glasses. . . And I don't think I've heard her speak in at least an hour." Makoto looked over toward Ami and wasn't surprised when the quiet girl was already walking quietly over to them. "Hey Ames."

"Hotaru, may I ask you a question?" Ami started politely, glancing at the others to be sure no one was listening. When Hotaru nodded she spoke again. "Is something wrong with Haruka, she looks a bit pale?"

"Wow, I didn't catch that." Makoto commented to the two. Ami smiled gently at her taller friend.

"No one has." Hotaru said quietly as she shook her head. She looked into Ami's kind blue eyes and allowed a helpless look to slip across her own features. "I don't know what it is, this is the first time in nearly a month any of us have gotten her to come do something."

"She didn't know she was coming did she?" Makoto asked but Usagi calling back to them interrupted any answer Hotaru would have given.

"Come on guys, you don't want to miss the movie, do you?"

As they sat in the dark theater Haruka felt her eyes begin to droop. Sitting on the end of the row, next to the isle, she easily ignored the excited chatter of the two blondes seated in the center. She shook her head to keep her teal eyes open, she didn't want to see those images again so soon. Not just yet.

"Do you girls want soda?" Haruka asked as she stood up, resisting the urge to stretch as she did so. She was met with a barrage of requests that came far too fast for her to understand and she jumped. Her teal eyes were wide behind her sunglasses as she tried to think of a way to remember all that.

"I'll come with you, I know all their usual orders and you'll need help carrying the sodas anyway." Makoto said as she stood and joined Haruka in the isle. Haruka just nodded and started toward the door with Makoto behind her. The two swiftly got to the concessions stand and Makoto gave the order before turning to face the blonde. "So, how are things?"

"Fine." Was all Haruka said as she pretended to read the overhead menu again. Makoto sighed but allowed her older friend that escape, nothing good would come of trying to force her to talk.

As the sun set Haruka again pulled the golden bike up in front of the outer's house, but this time she stopped at the sidewalk rather than pull into the driveway. She told Hotaru she'd be home later and the younger senshi hopped off the back of the bike. Hotaru took off her helmet and turned to look at Haruka for a moment. Before Haruka could say anything, or run away from her daughter, the girl kissed her cheek and asked her to be careful. Haruka watched until Hotaru safely entered the house and the door shut behind her, then she gunned the motor and was again off into the approaching night.

Inside the house:

Setsuna looked up from the vegetables she was chopping as she heard the cry of the motor dying off in the distance. She glanced toward Michiru who stood near the kitchen table making salad and the two exchanged a look just as Hotaru entered. The teen still held her helmet in her arms as the two women looked at her and she nodded in greeting.

"Hello Setsuna-mama, Michiru-mama." Hotaru paused before she looked toward the floor, unable to meet either adults' eyes at the moment. "Haruka-papa won't be home for dinner, she said she'd be late tonight."

"Thank you, Hotaru." Setsuna smiled at the girl, though Hotaru didn't look back up as she left the kitchen. The time guardian looked again toward Michiru but the other woman shook her head.

"She'll pull herself out of it, Setsuna. She's not my responsibility and this isn't life threatening." Michiru turned back to the salad and almost managed to hide the worry in her own eyes but Setsuna caught a glimpse of it.

Tokyo streets:

Haruka Ten'ou hadn't traveled the same circles as her brother. Though she'd looked up to him when they were younger, her duty as a senshi had just seemed to sever any remaining links to her family. Now as she rode through the nighttime streets, the wind blowing through her short blonde hair at high speed, those images haunted her. His words echoed in her ears.

MEMORY:

"Someday you're going to have to have a drink or two socially Haruka." He said as his brown eyes watched his younger sister. He smiled a bit as he pulled a few empty alcohol bottles from his closet and began to bag them up for recycling. "You don't have to smoke, and I better not catch you doing drugs, but drinking is just part of growing up."

"I don't believe that." Haruka returned as she sat on his bed. She watched him as he grabbed a water bottle and a small bag of white powder. He pulled out a pen, or what used to be one and was now only a tube, and spread the powder across his desk, using a razor blade to rake it into a thin line. He sucked the powder into his nose before walking into the bathroom and rinsing the residue off. "Why would it matter if I drink?"

"Because, everyone does it. It's not a trend it's just a fact." He reappeared from the bathroom and ruffled her hair with his hand. "You don't need to worry about that until high school though. You still have another year, but it's a school night so go get some sleep."

Haruka left her brother's room and did her best to ignore the sort of dry hacking sound that over powered him. He was twenty and every time he did one of his lines he'd begin to cough and occasionally get bloody noses. The young blonde shook her head as she went back into her own room and turned on the radio.

That was one of the last nights she'd seen him. The next day she'd had a track meet, one where a certain aqua haired girl had shown up. Haruka opened up the speed a bit more as she reached the city limits and started up a mountain road. Quickly she killed her head light, not caring if on coming vehicles knew she was there or not at this point, and let the darkness swallow her. Wind raced around her and Haruka locked the throttle in place. She removed her hands from the handlebar and spread her arms out, allowing the wind to play with the fabric of her loose shirt.

Haruka caught sight of the headlights just as they came around a bend in the road. The blonde instantly had her hands back on the controls, unlocking the throttle and moving quickly out of the large truck's path. The driver never so much as spotted the blonde as her tires lost grip and she ate pavement. He didn't see the bloodied blonde that his wheels missed by mere inches or hear the frustrated groan that escaped her as she pulled off her broken glasses and held her now bleeding side.

Outer's house about two hours later:

Michiru, Setsuna and Hotaru all glanced up from their respective activities as they heard the front door open and close. Setsuna stood and walked into the hall to tell the blonde they'd saved her dinner in the microwave but she never got it out. The next thing the two remaining outers heard was a gasp and Setsuna calling Michiru urgently. The violin player hurried toward the door to find Haruka leaning heavily on Setsuna's shoulder, her clothes ripped in random places and covered in blood. A taxi driver was standing behind her his hands covered in blood as well, which he was now wiping onto an old bandanna. The man said something about telling the blonde she should see a doctor but none of them paid him much attention.

"Hotaru, pay our guest and call Ami. Tell her we need her help." Michiru said as the teen appeared in the doorway and her violet eyes went wide. She nodded and handed the man a rather large note before politely showing him back out the door. Haruka hung somewhat limply between the two women as they half carried her up the staircase and into her room. Setsuna looked over the blonde as Michiru stepped back from the bed.

"What happened?" Setsuna asked as she noticed how most of the injuries seemed to be deep scrapes but a few looked more serious and the blonde had obviously lost blood. Haruka's torn clothes themselves were seemingly soaked in blood.

"Fell on my bike." Haruka said tiredly as she sank into the pillows. Both Setsuna and Michiru exchanged a surprised look, as they'd never seen the wind senshi anywhere close to losing her balance on wheels. Her next words, spoken before she passed out disturbed both women deeply. "Just missed the truck."

"I really wish she'd go to a hospital." Ami said quietly as she shut the bedroom door an hour later. She smiled at the four sets of concerned eyes that watched her, even if her own smile was a bit shaky. "She'll be fine. She's bandaged and shouldn't lose any more blood, I didn't find and broken bones. With the healing abilities we all possess I'd say she should be fine by the end of the week."

"What aren't you saying, Ames?" Makoto asked as red eyes watched the young women carefully. Ami sighed and leaned back against the now latched door.

"She was exhausted from more than just the blood loss. It doesn't look like she's slept much in days, if not weeks." Ami pushed away from the door and shook her head sadly. "What ever is bothering her if she doesn't find an outlet it is only going to get worse. She'll sleep tonight, I gave her some pain killer that should have her out until morning."

"Where did you get something like that?" Makoto looked at Ami with shock and the girl blushed.

"My mother figured out I was Mercury a few years ago, she keeps medical supplies at home and made me swear that if I need a trained doctor I will come to her." Ami smiled up at the others. "Actually it was quite a relief."

"We'd better get home, it's pretty late and I don't want Ami's mom to worry." Makoto said to the others.  
Once they'd left the three outer scouts sat in the living room. Setsuna watched silently as Michiru's eyes turned from worry to anger. She sighed as she realized what was coming. Hotaru, again catching onto the mood of her guardians stood and excused herself to go to bed, though Setsuna was certain the thirteen year old was not far away.

"I can't believe she was so stupid!" Michiru fumed after the youngest senshi had left the room. "Haruka should know better than to even operate her motorcycle with so little sleep! She could have been killed!"

"Be fair Michiru, Haruka's motorcycle is as much her stress relief as your violin is for you." Setsuna calmly defended her friend.

"My Stradivarius isn't going to kill anyone if I hit a wrong note!" Michiru argued back and caught the somewhat amused look that crept into Setsuna's eyes. She was sure the timekeeper was imagining killer violins running rampant throughout Tokyo. With a sigh Michiru placed a hand to her forehead. When she spoke again her voice was slightly calmer, though she was no closer to inner calm. "She had to be brought back here by a random stranger, bleeding and too tired to properly explain what happened to her."

"That can happen when one is in an accident." Setsuna winced slightly at the far from amused look she received for that observation. With a heavy sigh the red-eyed woman thought over what the cabby had tried to tell them. "I believe he said he found her on a mountain road."

"Oh, what was she doing? Riding at high sped with her headlight off and her arms out at her sides?" Michiru spread her arms out to demonstrate.

"Knowing Uranus, that's quite possible." Setsuna commented and received another glare from the women before her. She shook her head and stood to leave. "I don't know about you Michiru, but I intend to change clothes and wash dear Haruka's blood off of me."

Michiru stared after Setsuna for long moments after she departed the room. Slowly she sank onto the couch, sagging in a manner that suggested the world was resting on her shoulders. To herself she could admit that she didn't understand anything the blonde did this past month. It wasn't a matter of she didn't have an opinion, she just couldn't be sure why the blonde was acting the way she was. She let her head fall into her hands and held back another sigh. As much as she was mad at the tall blonde, and as much as she had no intent of speaking more than two words to her friend this week, she was still worried. Seeing her pale and bloody was not an image Michiru enjoyed and it had scared her more than she'd ever admit.

Michiru pulled out her phone and started a text message. She didn't bother with details, just canceled her date for tomorrow night and said she'd call another time. Some how she couldn't picture eating dinner at an expensive restaurant while her blonde partner lay in bed with Setsuna and Hotaru watching over her.

With that done, Michiru abandoned her phone on the coffee table and left the room, heading toward one of the bathrooms for her own shower. She didn't notice Hotaru hiding in the shadows, or see the girl pick up her abandoned cell phone and look over the sent messages. Hotaru nodded approvingly as she read her adopted mother's text message and set the phone back down. At least now she knew for certain they were all concerned about Haruka-papa.


	3. Fight the Call

Fight the Call:

Haruka awoke the next morning from a dreamless sleep only to notice she was mostly undressed in bed. The covers were pulled over her and she could feel both the itch of healing wounds and the bandages, which had been placed on her to prevent further bleeding. Things started to come back to the blonde and she had to wince at her own antics. She'd wanted to escape her problems, not bind herself to a bed for a week's time.

"Haruka-papa?" Asked a sleepy voice, causing teal eyes to notice for the first time the dark haired girl curled up near the foot of her bed. Hotaru sat up and hopped off the bed, still dressed the way she had been when Haruka dropped her off last night. "Are you feeling okay? Ami-san said if you were in too much pain when you woke we should call her."

"I'm fine Hime-chan." Haruka smirked and tried to sit up only to wince and give in to the small hands that pushed her shoulders gently back down. She looked up at her daughter with a slightly amused expression. "Okay, so maybe I should stay lying down for a while longer."

"You are staying in bed for the rest of the day, Ten'ou Haruka." Michiru warned sternly from the doorway causing both occupants of the room to let out surprised, and in one case mildly pained, yelps. Michiru turned her blue gaze to her daughter and raised an aqua brow at the teen girl before her. "And I thought you went to bed last night, young lady."

"I was going Michiru-mama." Hotaru looked up with the expression she'd once worn when she and Haruka had been caught trying to sneak cookies from the kitchen. The dark haired girl gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "I didn't want Haruka-papa to be alone if she woke up."

"Is that right?" Michiru smiled just slightly as Hotaru looked down at the floor again. She walked over and hugged the teen for a moment then gently nudged her toward the door. "Go shower get and ready for breakfast, I want to talk to your Haruka-papa for a moment."

"Hai!" Hotaru looked back toward Haruka once before she left the room again. Haruka closed her eyes and hoped for the best, it was almost never good when Michiru felt the need to send Hotaru out of a room. Sure the two adults didn't argue often, but that didn't mean Haruka didn't get the occasional lecture from one of the other two women.

"I already told you I am not going to coddle your feelings, you're an adult." Michiru began and Haruka bit her tongue to suppress the biting comment that came to mind. Clearly Michiru thought this all stemmed from her feelings for the violin player. Haruka didn't want to explain, if the artist wanted to know she'd ask. She squeezed her teal eyes shut more tightly as her friend continued. "You can't keep doing this Haruka, you know better than anyone how dangerous it is to deprive yourself of sleep and then choose to participate in the motor sports you so love."

"I haven't chosen any of this." Haruka commented mildly to the now pacing senshi of the sea. "Michiru, you don't know what you're talking about."

"So you aren't dwelling on that whole argument a month ago?" Michiru asked accusingly as she stopped to watch the blonde. "And would you look at me at least? For god's sake Haruka I don't see what you have to be mad about."

"I'm not mad at anyone." Haruka replied dryly as she opened her eyes and they locked with two deep blue orbs. With a smirk the blonde decided to press things. "Except perhaps myself. Why, my dear princess of the sea, would I even care about what happened a month ago?"

"You know why." Michiru shot back, glancing at the door to insure it was closed. Sure, Setsuna and Hotaru both knew about Haruka's feelings, knew that Michiru had turned her down, but that didn't make her feel a need to share this argument. "You know perfectly well."

"Oh?" Haruka looked toward the window before her gaze came back to land on the irate young woman standing in the middle of her bedroom. "I'm not so sure, why don't you remind me. You can say it, you know you can."

"Fine you're jealous." Michiru accused her bedridden partner with a glare. "You came home, I had an old friend over and you over reacted."

"An ex-boyfriend, Michiru." Haruka reminded her in an all too friendly tone. The blonde continued to smirk, as her calm partner seemed ready to yell but instead just let out a long suffering sigh. "And jealousy had nothing to do with my actions at the time."

"Oh, and what do you call it? You have already stated that you feel more than just platonic feelings toward me."

"Let's be exact here, Michi. I didn't state anything I showed it by kissing you." Haruka took a breath and looked away from her partner. "And I don't seem to remember you being able to answer me for months. But that's beside the point, all I was thinking of a month ago was the fact that he'd hurt you and would most likely do it again."

"I can take care of myself, Ten'ou-san."

"Which you made clear a month ago." Haruka's eyes snapped back to the shorter woman and she lost all hint of a grin. With somewhat cold eyes and steel in her voice the blonde continued. "Don't worry, I have no intent of interfering in your personal life again."

"What?" Michiru became confused and sat lightly on the edge of the bed, gazing down at the defiant face of her friend. "Wait, what do you mean you have no intent of interfering? You're part of my personal life, Haruka. You are one of my best friends and you know I'll be here if you need me."

"Think about your own words, Michiru." Haruka shut her eyes and settled down as if to sleep. There was no feeling in the blonde's voice as she spoke again. "We're both adults, and I don't need you to hold my hand. Now, I am going to try to sleep a bit more, seeing as I can't do anything more useful at the moment."

Michiru stood and left the room with out a word, feeling as if she'd been slapped. Once she'd closed the door she leaned back against it and closed her eyes. She couldn't stop herself from asking how they got to this point. She'd never meant to hurt the blonde, but it was obvious she had. Still, Michiru didn't understand, none of Haruka's reactions made sense to her.

"She isn't you, Michiru. You can't expect her to act the same." The senshi of the sea wasn't surprised when she opened her eyes to find it'd been Setsuna's soft voice that made that statement. She shook her head and walked away, passing Setsuna on the way down the stairs. The taller senshi opened the door again and poked her head in, glancing around the dark atmosphere inside.

"Go away Michiru." Came a muffled husky voice from beneath a pillow.

"I hate to disappoint you but I am not a short and currently perturbed violin player." Setsuna spoke and heard a muffled apology float from beneath the pillow. She smiled a bit as she entered and placed a tray on the nightstand. "If you don't want your breakfast I'm sure someone around here is hungry enough to eat it for you."

It didn't take long for a blonde head to reappear from beneath the pillow and Haruka to try to sit up again. Setsuna smiled a bit as she helped the racer to sit up properly and set the tray on her lap, moving the glass of juice to the nightstand.

"Can you manage with out choking, dare devil?" She joked as she stood near the bed. Haruka only nodded and began to eat, her movements slowed by the amount of healing scrapes and scratches spread over her body. Setsuna walked out and quietly shut the door. Maybe sometime over the week of bed rest her two housemates would work things out, though the chances seemed slim.

The end of that bedridden week could not come fast enough for the blonde as she was taunted again and again by the same nightmarish dreams with each wink of sleep she earned. Still she'd had to subject herself to it or stay confined to that bed until Ami declared her fit to stand on her own two feet. Now, only days later, Haruka woke again in a cold sweat and with the too well imagined taste of alcohol upon her tongue. She growled and focused two glaring teal eyes onto the red numbers of her alarm clock.

"Prefect. Awake at midnight again." She muttered to herself. She blew out a puff of air as she rose quietly from her bed and padded across the floor. She quickly grabbed a pair of sweats and a tank top and was soon dressed for her nighttime exercise. Sneakers in hand the blonde crept down the steps, silent as a shadow and paused as she reached the bottom step. Before her was Michiru's back as she spoke to someone outside the front door.

"Thank you very much for the wonderful night, Masato." Michiru spoke though her tone sounded forced to the blonde who merely remained silent in a dark area near the stair. Her suspicions were confirmed as Michiru locked the door, shut her eyes with a troubled sigh and turned to lean her back against it. The shorter woman sagged against the dark wood and only truly seemed to relax after a car was heard driving away.

"Long night?" Haruka spoke softly so as not to wake the other occupants of the house and caught her mistake right away. Michiru had been in her own troubled world and had not even noticed Haruka's presence, not even a twinge. The blonde was still insanely fast however and easily had a hand pressed over her friend's lips before the startled scream could escape her. Haruka realized she now had the poor woman pinned up against the door with her own body and leaned close to her ear before speaking in a husky voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, angel."

Michiru relaxed at the sound of the familiar voice before glaring into the teal eyes before her. She was slightly relieved to see the momentary spark of playfulness in those teal depths but it was quickly washed out again by something darker. Haruka pulled her hand slowly from Michiru's lips and watched her for a time but made no comment.

"What are you doing up?" Michiru asked as she tried to ignore the fact that they were breathing so closely that both felt the heat of the other's breathe on their skin. She tried to search those eyes again as they diverted toward the wall beside them. "You should be resting, Haruka."

"I have slept more than enough this past week." Haruka muttered in annoyance as she freed her captive and picked up the sneakers she'd discarded. Turning away she started toward the back door and Michiru followed with out comment. "Are you going to watch me now? Shouldn't you go sleep?"

"Not tired yet." Michiru lied as she easily suppressed a yawn and watched the taller woman's back. "Am I not allowed to watch you work yourself free of some energy?"

"As they say in America, Michiru: Whatever floats your boat." Haruka put her shoes on at the back door and they stepped out. Silently the two made their way to what looked much like a large garage in the back yard. The yard itself was easily large enough to hold another house or two. Haruka opened the door and out of habit held it for Michiru who walked in and turned on the bank of lights above them. Inside was a well stocked mini gym with a weight bench, stationary bike, sparring mat, speed bag and Haruka's favorite punching bag. The blonde shut the door and turned to find Michiru holding out the white tape like wraps she always used. Haruka silently nodded her thanks and began to wrap her hands quickly.

Michiru was quiet as she sat upon the weight bench and watched Haruka go through some quick stretches and warm ups. Her own mind started to wander to other times she had joined the blonde out here. There had been nights the two women had talked through the night as Haruka unleashed frustration on that same black bag and its small companion speed bag. There had even been nights that Michiru had watched Haruka, not saying a word to the blonde and the blonde not questioning why her friend would follow. In truth there had been times, more than Michiru felt secure admitting, when she had wondered to herself about why she'd turned away from the blonde's feelings. Michiru had no question about why she'd not pushed Haruka away when the tall woman kissed her a few years ago, she'd enjoyed that moment. That moment had become her guilt and her mental scar to bear alone, knowing the knowledge would only give Haruka a false hope.

Now Haruka's movements were not as fluid as she remembered, the blonde acting as if a stranger's eyes were upon her back. Michiru frowned as she thought of this fact, had she really become a stranger to the wind senshi? Again Michiru clearly heard that husky voice in her ear calling her an angel as it once did so regularly. She'd always said she wasn't an angel but Haruka had only laughed and kept to the nickname. Michiru closed her eyes as she replayed the events of the night in her mind again.

MEMORY:

"Why don't we go for a walk, angel?" Masato asked as his dark eyes looked over Michiru's evening dress covered form. Her blue eyes, troubled the whole night, snapped to the man beside her. Somehow it didn't feel right when he called her that but she didn't know why.

"I'm getting a bit tired, I think I'd like to go home Masato-san." Michiru said as her eyes alighted on the moon glowing distantly above their heads. She heard the man sigh a bit dejectedly.

"Just a short walk?" Masato said pleadingly to Michiru who took pity upon the man and nodded.

They walked quietly across the beach, where each one of her dates seemed to think she'd feel a romantic atmosphere, and Michiru let herself drown in her thoughts. She still felt a stab at the thought of Haruka not being part of her personal life anymore, a weird twisting feeling as if something were incredibly wrong. Even the sounds of the waves lapping lightly on the sand of the beach did nothing to lift the guilt Michiru continued to feel as she thought things over. She was interrupted from her thoughts as Masato decided suddenly to lean in and kiss her quite eagerly. With a muffled yelp Michiru jumped back from the startled man.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he looked at her with clear shock. "I thought you'd like that."

"I'd like to go home now, please." Michiru said calmly as she turned back to walk toward Masato's car.

"Sure."

END MEMORY:

"Hey, I know we have this little pact to stay out of each other's lives but that far off stare is starting to kill me." Haruka's voice broke into her thoughts as the blonde gently touched her cheek and tilted her head up to make their eyes meet. Haruka was kneeling in front of her, concern poorly hidden within her teal eyes. "You okay? I can go get Setsuna, even if she does kill me for waking her."

"I'm fine, Haruka." Michiru said, her voice a bit more cold then she intended. The blonde nodded and moved to stand but Michiru placed one hand on her right shoulder to stop her. Haruka glanced back up and her eyes widened a bit as Michiru leaned over and kissed he cheek lightly. She whispered in a pained voice. "I'm sorry Haruka, I know I hurt you and I know you were trying to look out for me."

"Then you're not mad anymore that I beat him up?" Haruka questioned in a weird tone as she leaned away. Michiru's breath on her neck was a bit much for the blonde to take.

"Don't push your luck, Blondie." Michiru joked in a somewhat weak voice trying to sound stern as she looked at the blonde. She shook a finger at Haruka's nose and spoke again. "How am I ever supposed to get a date if you go beating up every guy I break up with?"

"Hey now, I'm not exactly against driving guys away but I'm not aiming to do it." Haruka joked lightly and wiped away a stray tear, which had began to escape Michiru's eye. She smiled up at her friend, shook her head and tried again to coax her back to being the normal calm musician she knew. "Hey, there's always me or Internet dating. I can't beat up a cyber guy, you know."

"Be serious!" Michiru admonished in a strained voice that shut the blonde up. Worried for her friend Haruka stood and pulled Michiru into a tight hug. Michiru began to cry and Haruka was shocked out of her mind. She didn't know what to think as Michiru spoke again in that strained voice. "I don't want you out of my private life, Haruka. I don't want my best friend to treat me like a stranger."

"Hey, hey." Haruka pulled back and held Michiru's face gently as she stroked tears away with her thumbs. Two sad blue eyes gazed back at her as she spoke in a calming voice. "You're not a stranger, sure we haven't been talking much but I know who you are."

"We don't talk at all, Ruka." Michiru shook her head defiantly, disengaging Haruka's hold on her and looking up at the taller women as her tears stopped slowly. She took a few deep breaths, still gazing into those confused eyes. "We don't tell each other anything anymore. It's always hello and good-bye. Always quick, curt replies and unasked questions. It's getting to me Haruka and I miss hearing your voice and seeing you happy and I don't want to be any part of making you feel that way."

"Michiru, what are you getting at." Haruka started to look away, seemingly ready to turn away from the suddenly frantic seeming violin player. "Calm down and take a breath will you?"

Before Haruka could turn back toward the punching bag Michiru grabbed her face and pulled her down. Teal eyes shot wide open as their lips met and she couldn't think. Against her better judgment Haruka shut her eyes and let herself fall into the kiss. Michiru felt Haruka's arms slip around her waist and deepened the kiss. Both women put aside their conscious thoughts for a moment, just letting themselves feel this moment. Haruka and Michiru broke the kiss when both began to feel light headed from the lack of air they were experiencing. It took a moment for both to process what had just happened but as soon as their minds kicked back into working order blue eyes went wide.

Michiru broke free of Haruka's loose hold, the blonde letting her go as she fled from the small gym. As the door swung shut behind her companion Haruka spun and delivered a strong blow to the hundred pound punching bag behind her. A sort of thud sound echoed in the silence of the empty room as Haruka shut her eyes again and ignored the single tear that slipped from her own eye.

Inside her own room Michiru sank to the floor, her back against her bedroom door. Her head made a light thud sound as she allowed it to fall back against the wood. She tried to block out the feelings that were now sweeping through her, drowning her inside, but she couldn't. Her heart was pounding even faster than it had the first time, but at the same time she felt as if it had been stabbed. As if she driven a blade into her own chest and twisted it over and over again. At this moment, as her breathing began to slow down and the tears started to fall again, Michiru swore she would rather have her heart crystal ripped again from her chest than feel how she did now. She couldn't believe that she had done that to Haruka, or to herself.

At well past three in the morning, Haruka tiredly dragged her feet up the steps and back to her room. She glanced toward the door next to hers, Michiru's, but no light spilled below the door. She moved quietly, thinking to herself that at least one of them should sleep through the night. She didn't know that as she quietly shut her door those blue eyes opened and gazed at the wall that separated their rooms. She didn't know that as she sat with her back against that wall and tried to meditate her partner sat against the other door with puffy blue eyes. And neither saw the other's troubled look or knew that their thoughts dwelled on each other.

Haruka knew only that she didn't want to sleep tonight. That she didn't want the nightmare to return even compared to how troubled her waking hours were. Teal eyes landed on the still sealed bottle, which sat on her dresser. It was a get-well gift from her parts supplier. A gift which now taunted the blonde each time she woke and yet she couldn't make herself get rid of it because of that cursed curiosity which battled with her fears. Again that bottle looked all too inviting, as if it could make the blonde's thoughts stop. Haruka violently shook her head to clear away that thought.

'Alcohol helps nothing!' She reminded herself fiercely. 'It has destroyed too many people who thought it held the answer and you would be no different.'

Author's note:

Give me a little credit; I'm not going to kill someone just because this is a darker fiction. I don't promise not to but hey, people can survive a lot if they are strong. Thank you for all the reviews, they mean a lot to me.


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